For 9 months of my life, I lived everyday thinking that I was in love with my ex-boyfriend and that I could never survive a day without him.

Now,I remember what used to be my world, and I remember one of the hardest lessons I've learned and will ever learn. They say "the first cut is the deepest", and I'm sorry we have all heard before....what I really mean, but these quotes wouldn't be so famous if they weren't so true.

I've never known heartbreak like how it knew to always find its way to me, and because I've never been hurt quite so badly, I also never knew how to protect myself.

For the longest time, I was obsessed with the fact that I was in love with somebody whom I thought was perfect for me, never once stopping to realize that perhaps I'm in love with the idea of what I'd like him to be or who I THINK he is, and not realizing who he actually was is someone I've never known, and still don't.

I was trying to hold onto someone who was already gone.

When you're in a relationship like that, you don't stop to think that one day, all that was your entire world would come crashing down on your head, taking you along with it.

You'd never imagine that he would say the hurtful things to shatter your world . And so I got hurt. I cried like I've never cried before.

He didn't want to see me, he was seeing other girls and making use of me, toying with my feelings and you know... just doing the usual stuff to break my heart.

And you know what? That's okay. the most important part is knowing how to pick up the pieces and walk away.

There will always be assholes out there.

But they are not the biggest problem of all.

I am not quite as upset about the fact that he cheated me a hundred times too many, and absolutely destroyed my self-esteem and every ounce of self-respect I had for myself..

What I'm really, really cut about is the fact that I let him do it to me. Over and over again. I let him hurt me, because I was too eager to believe his lies, too desperate to feel wanted and loved.

I believe that..

The first time he lies to you, it is his fault.

The second, third, fourth and countless other times are all my fault.

And you know what else?! Don't be an idiot

They say "love is unconditional, and me being the idiot that I was, happily lapped up every single ounce of bullshit that was spoon fed to me by clueless people who claimed that true love is unconditional."

I will say it loud and clear:FUCK UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

The last time I listened to that shitty advice, I got my heart seriously fucking broken.

Only 2 types of people would promote "unconditional love" :

Mother Teresa, or somebody who just couldn't find anyone better out there to make themselves happier and simply resigned to their lowly fate.

"You know, that would be the sort of shit coming from Jerk Neo's wife, going like "I will love him no matter what, stick by him through thick and thin......... even though he wanted to stick his penis into everything that was breathing and had a hole beneath ignoring the fact that we are married with kids" Yes, your love may be "unconditional", and that is the reason why your husband is going around having sex with girls half your age and probably why you are so bloody miserable and still haven't left him yet."""

They say she's known about the affairs, but kept one eye shut.

That it is okay for your husband to cheat on you?

It's not.

It is, more than anything, sheer stupidity and lack of self-respect for yourself. I find that 99% of the time, guys take girls for granted because we let them. Never let the guy feel like he doesn't even need to earn your respect or forgiveness when he's done something wrong.

A relationship shouldn't be something just to HAVE, it's something to work for!!!passion is for losers who end up marrying someone they wish they didn't and spend the rest of their lives hating on people who are actually in love and happy.

Who is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself? "To love somebody, you must first love yourself."

Sounds like a load of bullssssssshit, but let me explain it to you.

When you love yourself, you learn to take pride in having utmost dignity and respect your self-worth. With that, men will eventually realize that they cannot shove you aside and trample all over you like a barbie doll - They will learn to respect you as well.

"They say "trust is the fundamental base in a relationship" but what they don't tell you is that someone will only bother to tell you the inconvenient truth if they respect you enough. Otherwise, they'd figure that you are not even worth explaining to and would forget the whole idea of being completely honest with you in the end. Without mutual respect, there will be no honesty and not enough consideration, and with that, there will certainly be no happiness and love."

Love can be impractical, sometimes it may not even make sense but:LOVE IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL UNLESS IT'S FROM YOUR MOTHER! Please stand up for yourself and have some dignity!

Most girls are unrealistically optimistic about their relationshipsl, so if there happens to be a voice inside your head telling you that something is wrong, don't ignore it. I remember crying myself to sleep wishing that things would get better, but they never did. Not until I took control of my own life and stopped letting a bad relationship consume me. And I know I'm not the only one who cries myself to sleep......

Perhaps this may be hard to believe for those who are stuck in a shitty relationship or situation right now..

But some day you will meet somebody new...

I know,thats to break up is one of the haRdest decisions I have ever made, butnit let me to grow so much as a person. Break free.it is easier said than done - I've been in my fair, pretty awful situations myself.

But DO SOMETHING to make your life better!And when you do finally take the plunge, be firm with your decision and never look back.

Nothing says weak like trying to walk away from someone but giving up halfway and ending up running right back into his waiting arms because he knew you just weren't strong enough to do it.

A mistake is not wasted if the lesson is learned, so I'm sharing mine with you.

I'm giving you advice that I'm taking myself. We are all still young (unless you're like, 50. hi mum).No wonder my mum always told me I was sooooo naive.

Don't wait by the phone for the call that will never come......

It's not called a second chance when it's been said and done more than twice..

peaceout....

Bunnyjump